Kara Pomeroy NLP.com: Certified Master Neuro Linguistic Practitioner, Counseling for individuals and couples

Kara Pomeroy NLP.com 206-417-4541 Certified Master Neuro Linguistic Practitioner

September/October 2010 newsletter

It feels like it wasn’t that long ago that it was already light outside at 5am. These days when I roll out of bed at 5am (“already late!”) the world is dark. The zenith of summer passed very quickly in the Pacific Northwest. We are already walking through the still energy of late summer.

In Chinese Five Elements, summer is associated with the Fire element—a fast, sparkling, brilliant energy whose primary domain is the heart. Late summer is associated with the Earth element, a slowing-down kind of energy in which we can look forward to reaping the rewards of harvest time. We’ll take a closer look at the energies of Fire and Earth in this newsletter’s Five Element Face Read-ing Corner, as well as be treated to more insights on these elements from Taunya Mattson, L.Ac.

In this month’s article, “The Pause Between Breaths,” I’ll share some of the process it’s taken for me to become a guru-to-myself-in-the-making.

All Good Wishes to You,
Kara Pomeroy
Editor
www.KaraPomeroyNLP.com

Quote of the Month

“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” - Joseph Campbell

The Pause Between Breaths
...INHALE

I guess this is my version of a mid-life crisis.

Since the spring, when a relationship I had invested a lot of myself in ended, everything in my life has been up for re-evaluation. In tandem with that, I’ve deepened my own personal change work, us-ing NLP, an Improv 101 class and Life itself as my main tools and guides.

Almost from the beginning after that devastating breakup, I was able to recognize it as a gift. If the relationship had not taken that course, my world would not have opened up as it has done. Nothing is all “bad” or all “good.” The trick is to be willing to recognize that, and to separate out the parts.

...PAUSE...
Life as a mirror

The Wee Free Men, by Terry Pratchett, is a delightful story of a young witch-in-the-making, Tiffany Aching. Among other things, Tiffany has been gifted with “First Sight,” the ability to see what’s really there, instead of what she expects to see. Part of the gift given to me After-the-Breakup (ATB) was a First Sight of my own. I began experiencing people and situations quite differently. The rose colored glasses with the slightly fuzzy focus I’d been viewing the world through were replaced with super clear, super sharp focused lenses. Some of the new perspectives were uncomfortable, some a pleasant change. This First Sight also allowed me to watch my actions. I observed how in many ar-eas I had changed, and how desperately stuck I still was in other areas.

Outside the comfort zone
Enter Improv 101. You might wonder how a class to learn improvisational skills helped with all of this. Quite simply put, I was at my wits end. I needed to do something different. My criteria for “some-thing different” was:

1. Let it be completely out of my comfort zone, to shake my roots, so to speak.
2. Let it be fun.
3. Let it be around people I wouldn’t know.
4. Let me have no attachment to being “the best” or “successful” (a change in itself for me).
5. Let me learn something different.
6. Let me forget my heartache for awhile.

Improv 101 met my criteria and then some. The class also illuminated brilliantly some of the pit falls that I fall in to so easily—issues around trust and control.

It’s all about relationships
For an improv scene to work well, the players have to trust each other—the relationship, however brief, has to be founded in that. The more you are able to give up control and build a scene collabora-tively, the better.

It was during an exercise where we were learning about status between characters and how to consciously shift that component in a scene, when I realized I had trouble letting myself not be the one in control. And, together with my new First Sight, I saw how that inflexibility had kept me stuck in so many ways.

Within any relationship, the status between people is fluid. By “status” I mean control. Control in this sense means whoever has control over the interaction. What I became painfully aware of was that I was maintaining a certain status within relationships that no longer felt comfortable. At one point that status had worked nicely. But over time, I had changed. It was as if I had placed myself in a box and continued to grow without the box getting any larger. I felt cramped, claustrophobic, even. I real-ized that I had been attempting to break out without recognizing what I was trying to do consciously for quite some time. My unconscious efforts met with resistance from all parties, most especially my-self. I doubted everything I did. I did not trust myself at all.

Becoming a guru-to-myself-in-the-making
Another benefit Tiffany Aching had were people who recognized her for who and what she was, even before she had a name for her burgeoning talents. She just knew there were certain yearnings in her heart that would not be quelled. She didn’t know she was a witch, but they did. She didn’t know how to do witch-like things, but they guided her as she discovered how to find the inner resources they knew she possessed.

By the end of the novel, she had made marked inroads in her journey. She had learned to trust that she was more capable than she’d known before.

There is a phrase I learned from my Dad when I was six or seven. “If it is to be, it is up to me.” Over the years I’ve thought of this as a mixed blessing. At times, the mantra has felt heavy, more like a burden than a something I wanted to take on. As I learn to trust myself more and more, and be-come the “guru” for my life, “If it is to be, it is up to me” feels less like a burden and more like a loving challenge that I can meet.

EXHALE...
Five Element Face Reading Corner

Fire
As the name suggests, this is a fast energy, and people who have much of this in their makeup tend to move and speak quickly. The color most associated with Fire, not surprisingly, is red. Facially, there is no one feature that specifically points to someone having Fire in their makeup. Instead, look for the pointy tips of features—the inner canthus of the eyes, the tip of the nose, the edges of the mouth. Often there is a red hue to the skin, lots of freckles, red and/or curly hair and slender hips and torso.

Fire is the energy of the heart. Because of that, Fire is very much about relationships. Fire wants to merge—to consume and be consumed. Someone whose Fire is in balance will know how to navi-gate relationships in a healthy way. When Fire is out of balance, there may be a tendency to rush into relationships, be they romantic, friendships, or job related. They can also easily get their feelings hurt.

Fire flits rapidly across a surface, touching everything in its path. Not surprisingly, “Firey” people tend to be extremely tactile.

Someone with a lot of Fire in their makeup may have a tendency to start projects and not com-plete them. It may be more about the excitement of starting something new than about finishing.

Earth
The late summer energy of Earth, on the other hand, is great about finishing projects. They are of-ten the ones who support getting things done, and tend to be great teachers.
Physically, Earth is rounder than Fire. Someone with much Earth in their makeup will tend to have rounder features, often with a generous mouth and full lips and a round tummy regardless of their weight.

The main color associated with Earth is yellow, and there may be a yellowish tinge to an “Earthy” person’s skin.

Earth is an energy about community and nurturing and helping. Someone with a lot of Earth in their makeup will tend to make deep, lasting connections with people that often last a lifetime.

The pitfalls for someone with a dominantly “Earthy” nature can center around feeling under-appreciated and like a doormat. Then resentments can build. It’s important for someone with a lot of Earth in their makeup to learn how to care for themselves as well as for those they care about.

More about the energies of Fire and Late Summer from Taunya Mattson, L.Ac.
Summer: Fire is the dominant element of summer. In summer, Wood has grown to its full height and established its presence. Now it is free to bloom. In summer- like plants and insects, people flower and mingle. Its a celebration of both individuality and merging as people come out of their homes and talk on street corners. The mood is more relaxed- it is more important to socialize then to work.

Late Summer: Summer moves into late summer. Late summer is the stillness that occurs when energy reaches its peak. It stays still for a while before it begins to decline. At the top of the zenith, heaven and earth are in balance. In spring- energy rises, in summer it expands. In late summer, it has reached its destination. The weather is warm, but not scorching. It is a time for fruit to ripen, and a time of abundance since fruits and vegetables are ripe. I think of the garden spider as the symbol of late summer, as she sits in her web and gets fat off the insects that fly to her. This is a time to eat and enjoy all life has to offer- fill up before winter comes.

As a special thank you for reading this newsletter, I’m offering a 25% discount off the regular face reading rate. Call 206-417-4541 or email contact@karapomeroy.com and mention this newsletter to receive the discount and set up an appointment.

Classes at Life Re-Solutions!
There are ongoing NLP classes, Family Constellation evenings and Theme Constellation classes at Life Re-Solutions, North Seattle’s NLP training center. Please check out the web site at: http://www.life-re-solutions.com/ for more information and times/dates.

Comments

I welcome your comments and feedback. Please email me at info@KaraPomeroyNLP.com

Disclaimer

This newsletter is meant to inform but does not replace medical advice or treatment. Contact a qualified health care professional if you need medical assistance.

Please feel free to reproduce, copy or distribute this newsletter with people you know who would be interested in the content. When doing so, please forward it in its entirety, including my contact and copyright information. If any other use is desired, permission in writing from Kara Pomeroy is required. Thank you for spreading the word.

Serving the Seattle area